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We get daunted and overwhelmed by problems rather than trying to come up with solutions. Whenever you are paralyzed by your fear of taking on something challenging, try to come up with ways to overcome potential hurdles instead of concentrating on all that can go wrong.

The average person has thousands of thoughts each day and much of this is negative. We are constantly talking to ourselves in our heads so it only makes sense to pay attention to the tone of our internal dialogues. With proper awareness, you can catch yourself when you have negative thoughts and dialogues and replace them with positive ones.

Most of us know one or more negative people in our lives. These are the negative Nancys who find fault in and complain about nearly everything. When we complain, we are in essence highlighting things that are wrong instead of focusing on what is right. Pay attention to your mindset and stop complaining about circumstances because it only amplifies negativity and does not help your self-confidence. Speaking positively and optimistically helps to change our mindsets and provide us with the confidence that things will get better.

Another way to help increase our self-belief is by accepting how things are. This does not mean that we should not make the effort to change negative situations. It merely means that we do not resist our current situation and make it worse than it already is. There are some things that we have the power to change and others which we cannot. Very often, it is not the situation that makes us upset but, rather, our thoughts about the situation. When my father passed away a few years ago, I was extremely upset and regretted that I did not spend more quality time with him.

There was nothing I could do about the situation so I had to accept it and not resist it. I also learned from it and decided to spend more quality time with my mother. Accept your current predicament for what it is without resisting it and make the effort to change what you can change. The kind of people we surround ourselves with affects how we think, feel and act. This affects our self-belief. Make it a point to spend most of your time with people who are positive, non-critical, and have an optimistic view on life. These people will support and encourage you via their words and actions.

They will lift you up as opposed to weigh you down. Just as we should surround ourselves with positive people who strengthen our self-confidence, we should avoid ones that do the opposite.

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Rid yourself of toxic friends, or at least limit the time you spend with them. Misery loves company so stay away from it. Another method to improve our self-confidence is to engage in activities that we enjoy and are good at. This has the effect of making us feel proficient at something and helping us become more confident in our abilities. Most people are not good at something they try for the first time. They get better at it the more they do it. When we do things that we enjoy and are proficient at, it reminds us that we can apply that same mentality to other aspects of our lives and build our confidence.

Self-Confidence - Student Services - The University of Queensland, Australia

Whether it is surfing, art, playing a musical instrument, playing Scrabble, or computer programming, make it a point to indulge in activities that you love and do well. If you want to develop more self-confidence, find a mentor and ask for advice. Most people do not take the time to find a mentor to teach them new skills and hone existing ones. If possible, find more than one mentor, each specializing in a field that you want to excel at.

How to Believe in Yourself and Build Self-Confidence

Tap into their expertise and get as much advice from them as possible. A good mentor will not only teach, they will also empower others by pointing out their strengths and boosting their self-confidence. Closely related to the point above, identify people whom you admire and respect and learn all you can about them.

If you want to be a good swimmer, it makes sense to study the habits of Michael Phelps. If your goal is to become a prolific writer of horror novels, understudy Stephen King. When I first conceived the idea to start this blog, I began reading the blogs of others who have successfully accomplished the same thing. Learning from those whom we respect and admire builds confidence in our own abilities. After all, if they can do it despite all the obstacles they faced, so can we.

Self Esteem, Confidence, How to Love Yourself, Human Needs & Humanistic Psychology

Human nature is such that we tend to favor comfort over discomfort. We are constantly trying to make our lives more comfortable while we shun discomfort like the plague. But it is important to remember that being uncomfortable is often evidence that we are making progress. It is akin to exercising and being a little uncomfortable so that we can get more fit. When we embrace discomfort and remember that it is for a good cause, we develop more confidence in our ability to handle it. What does not kill us really does make us stronger, and this applies to our self-belief, too.

One of the best decisions I made in the last few years is to eradicate negative and frivolous TV and media from my life. The reason I did this was to limit negative influences that affected my psyche. I then replaced it with positive TV, movies, books, and websites. The effect has been profound for me because I ridded myself of a lot of subliminal negativity that I was being brainwashed with. Most of the media that I now view either teaches me something valuable, inspires me, or both.

Imagine if you were to replace gory murder shows with a show that highlights successful entrepreneurs. Not only will you reduce the amount of negativity that is in your life, you will also learn valuable skills and become more confident. When we abuse drugs, alcohol, shopping, or anything else for that matter, it is often because we want to escape reality, even if it is for a short while. We seek to numb our pain and fear. What really happens is that the effects of intoxication or being high finally wear off and we feel terrible for doing it in the first place.

We are grasping at straws in order to make ourselves feel better when we know full well that it is pointless. We feel bad for having such destructive habits and addictions and that only drives us to indulge in our addiction even more in order to ease our shame. This explains why most people who abuse drugs, alcohol, shopping, etc, have low self-confidence, a reason they became addicted in the first place.

If you have an addiction, seek professional help and try to eradicate the problem. It will work wonders for your self-esteem and confidence.

Preparing Yourself for Success!

This might seem trivial, but it is not. Sitting and walking upright with our chest out actually has an effect on our moods and confidence level. This does not mean that if you simply sit up straight you will suddenly become the most confident person in the world. But it is another weapon in our confidence arsenal that we can use.


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There is not one person in this world who has not failed at something. It is a natural part of life.

How to Gain Self-Confidence and Start Believing in Yourself

Many of the most successful people in this world have failed numerous times. The difference is that they did not give up or allow themselves to stay down for too long. They licked their wounds, dusted themselves off, and learned from their failure.


  1. Heart of Stone [love and romance sex].
  2. What is Self-Confidence?;
  3. The Quest for Responsibility: Accountability and Citizenship in Complex Organisations (Theories of Institutional Design).